one of my favorite people in the world, Ella, is the rookie mother to three-month-old fraternal twins. I’ve been beyond thrilled to have her join the ranks of parenthood with two little ones at once. I begged her to share some of her hard-earned nuggets of wisdom and she did not disappoint. She provides these suggestions to other twin mamas still in the trenches.

Tips to flourish in the first three months

1. Leave the house. I cannot tension enough how essential it was to push myself to get out early on. At first leaving the house with both babies seemed like an insurmountable task, by the time I got myself and them ready, someone would need another diaper change or even the next feeding. There were always excuses to stay home and not attempt to visit a friend or run an errand. This overwhelmed state could have developed into a real aversion to taking them out. Instead, I realized I could just push myself little by little, even if it’s for a quick walk around the block.

If you would have seen us early on you would never have believed that by 3 months these babies had been out to restaurants, rode the ferry to Manhattan, been to grocery stores and went on daily walks. but we forced ourselves out of our comfort zone a little at a time and I am so glad we did. I think this is true for all new mothers and, doubly so for twin moms!

2. say yes to provides of help. In the first months take any and all provides for people to bring food. With two babies I never ever have time to cook and eat, even with my husband home because one of us is tending to a baby whatsoever times. also until we got the hang of it, we solicited help for baths. now we manage it all, but with two babies in the early days we really appreciated the help: two people for the baby being bathed, clothed, changed, and one to attend to the other baby!

We found that extra hands are very helpful with two babies anywhere we need to fully attend to one baby, like pediatrician visits. This is one of the essential differences between caring for multiple babies vs. one.

3. Splurge on the little things that save time and effort. For example, my formula comes in a ready to feed liquid, so I keep that in my diaper bag and save the powder for home. While mixing formula on the go may not seem like a hardship, it can be when I have two crying hungry babies and am holding one of them. being able to open and pour makes a big difference. Ditto for a bottle warmer. I don’t know if I would have gotten this with one baby but with two it’s a must-have.

4. follow your instincts. numerous people promise by twins mother groups as a resource. however I feel I have my hands full enough and do not let myself feel guilty for not joining one. While I am sure I would benefit, I felt this was another thing I couldn’t attend to on my to do list and for that reason it became a point of tension rather than a help. At some point possibly I will make this happen but as of now it’s just not a priority and we are doing fine.

Best gear for house life with twins

1. Strollers: We used the double snap n opt for the car seats and agree that it’s a bit of a bear to maneuver but it’s been a lifesaver for getting to and from the car because we are in an house so have to walk to the parking garage. This stroller was one of the only things I could manage lifting into the car after my c-section; and twin mothers are much more likely to have a c-section.

I love love love the Bumbleride Indie Twin. As my babies get older, I’m thrilled to phase out the double snap n Go and start using the Maclaren twin Techno.

I also appreciate having a single stroller because there are occasions when it’s good to divide and conquer. recently I went to a luncheon and took our daughter while leaving our child with my husband. because he had a single stroller they were able to spend the day outside together. This is also good for errands: taking one baby to the supermarket is way simpler than two.

2. Sleeping arrangements: We love our Arm’s reach co-sleeper. We had the babies in there together for the first few months, and it was a must-have for us in our two-bedroom apartment. An advantage here is the babies are together. because the pack n play mattress is not as supported in the middle, numerous mothers of twins say two babies cause it to cave and the babies roll into the middle toward each other. This is not whatsoever an issue in the co-sleeper.

Another point on sleep: There are various crib wedges and sleep positioners available for babies with alignment issues or flattened heads. These kind of issues may be much more common for twins because they are so much much more cramped in the womb.

3. Nursing pillows: I wish I didn’t purchase a breastfeeding pillow before I knew how we’d all like it. I got the My Brest friend twin pillow only to discover that I much preferred to feed one baby at a time. That pillow thing is huge and I’ve barely used it as a result;I would have rather had a single Boppy or used nothing at all.

4. other products: I am relieved we have enough spares for the cover of the changing table and sheets. With two babies, it is incredibly likely that someone will soil absolutely everything practically every day. If possible, have one in use, one for the drawer, and one for the laundry.

I found that the cute stylish diaper bags are just simply not big enough. I love my skip Hop Duo Deluxe. It felt huge at the store next to all the other ones. but it fills up rapidly once I add two sets if diapers, two changes of clothing, two blankets, etc. It has great pockets and compartments, and it has a strap to conveniently snap on to the back of the double stroller. and it is gender neutral.

5. Go gender-neutral: With multiples, my partner has to be especially hands-on. having gender-neutral stuff helps him feel better using our gear when he’s out and about. Our strollers and diaper bags are very non-girly, which is helpful because we have a young boy and a girl and also because my husband really likes them all.

Thank you Ella for sharing your experiences for twins Week. I’ll completely shut up about the mothers group thing.

[photo of twins less than a week old offered by Farrah.]